How to be more authentically you at work
“Don’t do anything that would make it look like you don’t know what you’re doing” says the quiet voice in our head.
Most of us try to seem stronger, smarter and more confident at work than we actually feel on the inside.
The belief/mindset behind it is typically that we need to be always at our best and know the answers to all the questions coming our way, in order to be accepted, and not seem “incompetent”, “stupid” or not worthy of our role.
The roots of this fear are both evolutionary (the need to be accepted by the tribe in order to survive) and going back to childhood (being the good boy/girl). Hence, a very natural and human pattern to have.
And so we put on the “I know, I can, I will” armour, in hopes that it’ll protect us from our own, and other people’s judgements.
However, it comes with a price: it weighs a ton…
🔸 We can’t be at our best when we’re in defence mode/focused on protecting ourselves (aka in fear): our creativity, analytical thinking and productivity are limited
🔸 It prevents us from feeling true belonging, and building strong, authentic relationships.
🔸 We waste a lot of energy and potential into holding the armour up; all of which we could channel into something more valuable.
3 steps to start changing this:
Self-awareness: What kind of situations at work make you put on the armor? Who are the people that trigger this the most + why? How is this pattern trying to protect/serve you? What’s it’s deeper positive intention?
Accept: See this pattern as a friend who has been doing its best to try to support you. Take 3 deep breaths into your belling to bring compassion towards it, knowing it means well.
Act: What’s your current relationship to this pattern/how and when does it affect you? What’s one tiny behaviour shift you could try over the next few weeks, in a situation where it comes up? Who can support you in this / help you stay accountable?
While it takes some mindfulness and courage to start dismantling the armour, Brene Brown beautifully shares the value of it…
“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.
Choosing authenticity means cultivating the courage to be imperfect, to set boundaries, and to allow ourselves to be vulnerable; exercising the compassion that comes from knowing that we are all made of strength and struggle; and nurturing the connection and sense of belonging that can only happen when we believe that we are enough.”
- Brene Brown, “The Gifts of Imperfection”
